If you’re unfamiliar with WIPpet Wednesday, it’s a great weekly meme hosted by Emily Witt where authors can share excerpts from Works in Progress. I have greatly enjoyed reading others’ WIPs and getting to know other authors’ stories.
Today, I have a section from my 2nd Manuscript.
Math: 6/8/16 = 8 paragraphs. They’re fairly short, don’t worry lol.
No romance this week. I’ll try to post more ‘romantic’ snippets though :)). But this scene is something I edited recently. Very new – ish. The whole family scene during Christmas was completely revamped That said I would not mind any thoughts/suggestions/critiques/ideas that you have on this scene.
Context: Serena is hanging out with her entire family in the front room after a lovely Christmas dinner. I’m trying to convey here, that Serena is still very anxious, and that she feels rather inadequate in comparison to her brothers (2 who are younger, and attend college somewhere else, one who is older, and recently married.) Some of that is more evident in the previous paragraphs. But anyway…here you are
Marcus returned his gaze to Serena. “Where’s that boyfriend of yours? Wasn’t he supposed to come? When you going to pop out a kid?”
“Marcus!” Her mother’s growl shattered the hum of conversation into silence.
Serena couldn’t breathe. Damian jumped up, reached his brother in three strides and pummeled him on the head with a couch pillow. Marcus yelped in protest, throwing up his arms to protect himself. Jordan jumped out of the way and sprawled on the floor laughing so hard he had to cough to catch his breath. He wasn’t the only one laughing.
“Stop, both of you!” Her father stood up, taking a step forward.
“Certainly not until she’s married,” Her mother snapped once she’d regained her composure.
“What is wrong with you?” Damian scolded before he stalked back toward his spot next to Celine. [Her sister-in-law] Her mom, dad, and Celine pinned fierce glares on Marcus, daring him to utter another word. He chose not to. It didn’t take long for conversation around the room to resume.
Catching her own breath, Serena rose on unsteady legs. Heart pounding, she picked her way through the crowded room, ignoring every curious glance. In the hall, a hand on her arm caused her to gasp and whirl around.
That’s all for now. I will do my best to make rounds to you all this week! I have been trying to do so more often. Leave me a link to yours if you want and I’ll come check it out!